The first week or two is often difficult and as parents, we struggle when our children seem sad or unhappy about school. There are often the teething problem in the first few weeks which settle down without out input. Rather than jumping in immediately, sometimes doing nothing is the way to go.
If you feel that some action is required, here are some actions to consider:
- Observe your child’s emotions and body language after school. Often children with ADHD don’t have the ability yet to describe their feelings or may have forgotten the events of the day. So take note of how they are when you see them after school. Keep a diary or notebook to record how she is. It’s useful to look back on how many times they came home happy or sad so you have an accurate picture of how things are going.
- Don’t react immediately if your child tells you about some bad experience in school with a peer. Remember that all reality is actually only our own reality. There are always two sides to a story so even if you do think your child has been treated badly, it is our job to filter what has happened and give them the other side. If you don’t know the other side yet, go ask someone you can trust like another parent or better still, the teacher.
- Don’t take a teacher’s behaviour personally. The first weeks are incredibly busy for teachers: getting routines going, putting expectations in place and generally getting the children down to doing some work. If you feel a teacher is not responding appropriately to your child, keep a record of what happened from your child’s perspective.
- Ask your child’s teacher when is a good time to talk or email them asking how and when they would like to communicate. Some teachers prefer to use email or the phone while others prefer a face to face meeting. For primary school, a face to face meeting can be really useful.
- Plan and prepare in advance for a meeting. If you believe your child is old enough (this is especially important in high school), involve your child in the meeting preparation also. Ask your child what their opinion is, what the teacher does well and what is not working so well. If you think the teacher will be supportive, include your child in the meeting also and this includes them in solutions and problem-solving.
- Aim for a positive, solution-focused meeting and if you feel yourself become emotional, take a break or explain to the teacher you are finding the conversation difficult.
If after a meeting, you are still not happy, it’s appropriate to then talk to the next in line which may be a year coordinator or principal of the school.
Please get in touch if you would like to discuss more or have any questions.
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